Entitled Expectations

"Expectations are premeditated resentments"

Entitlement: A belief that one is inherently deserving of certain privileges or special treatment.

Expectations: The act or state of looking forward to something

Lately, I've been reflecting on how my unmet entitled expectations surrounding the various relationships in my life have left me feeling angry, frustrated and resentful. 

The more I dig into my feelings, the more I begin to question if I am deserving of the support I expect?

What makes me feel like I am entitled to support?

Have I sowed into the relationships and it's a matter of me just being disappointed when I tried to reap my investments??

And in the case of family, is it wise to have expectations whether you have earned them or not?

And should one have to earn them in the context of family relationships? 

I honestly do not know the answers to these questions.

 Am still wrestling with how I proceed emotionally from here.

One thing I know for sure is that I am in control of my emotions.

 I get to choose my reaction to unmet expectations whether deserving or undeserved.

Sure it is perfectly human and okay to feel slightly hurt BUT it is not healthy to dwell in that state long term and develop a victim mentality. 

It is not healthy to keep scores of the list of people who have not been supportive. 

It is not healthy to share that list with anyone who will listen to your sad story.

Instead, I have decided to give my complete attention and show my complete gratitude to those who have helped me. It's crazy that we want to spend time obsessing over which family member has not been supportive when we are surrounded by friends and members of our various communities who keep showing up for us. 

I was guilty of that.

 But never again. 

Moving forward, I want to focus on recognizing and showing my gratitude to those who support me, especially family. 

Sometimes we are least appreciated of our family members who go out of their way to support us because we feel entitled to their support. 

So we do not even say thank you. 

The truth is NO ONE OWES US ANYTHING.

So when they choose us, it is not an action we should overlook.

We should always express our honest gratitude.